


don't wanna keep a secret (but don't know how to keep it fair)

by mongoliabun



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: A Hint of Thallen If You Squint, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3755860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mongoliabun/pseuds/mongoliabun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Eddie tries to convince Barry he should stop lying to his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't wanna keep a secret (but don't know how to keep it fair)

**Author's Note:**

> Or, what should have happened at the end of that scene in 1x18. Barry, you get your ass in there and talk to Eddie. I wrote this extremely fast, so please pardon any pacing issues or weird typos. (I'm sure I'll catch them later.)

"Hey," comes the tentative, familiar voice of Barry Allen from across the room. Eddie hadn't realized he was still at the precinct, let alone anywhere near the bullpen. He seems slightly disoriented to see Barry standing there, and it takes him a few seconds to respond. There's a lot going on in his head, and despite how he's usually so happy to see Barry, right now he just feels conflicted.

"Hey, Barry," Eddie says with a short huff of a breath. Barry isn't stupid, picks up that there's something bothering him, pinches his brows together in concern. "If you're looking for the Captain, he's already gone for the day." Eddie isn't stupid, either, knows that Barry wouldn't be giving him that look if he didn't want to talk to _him_. 

"Oh, well, yeah, thanks — but that's not really why I came over here." He looks at Eddie expectantly. "Did something ... _else_ happen between you and Iris? You both look a little ... off."

Eddie sighs, searching the room as if it might hold the answer to the one question he doesn't want to answer. A lot has happened between him and Iris, and none of it has been good. He doesn't want to blame Barry, but it's _Barry's_ secret that got them all into this mess. "Look, I appreciate the concern, Barry, but it's really none of your business." He moves to Barry's right to grab a few things off his desk and Barry counters to block Eddie from leaving.

"Hey," he says again, more directly, with more confidence. "Seriously, what's up? I know this is hard for you —"

" _Hard_?" He tries not to raise his voice, but he does so unintentionally. It startles Barry into shifting back just a step. "Try _impossible_ , Barry. I tell her, I'm breaking your trust _and_ Joe's, and I'd rather not end up with another bullet wound. I _don't_ tell her, she never speaks to me again, but at least she'll be 'safe', right?" Wrong. Not having all the facts is a lot more dangerous than knowing exactly what you're up against. "I don't want you to think this is about me, because it's not. It's about _you_ and it's about Iris. You just dragged me into the middle of it all."

"Okay," Barry says slowly, holding a hand up in an attempt to placate Eddie. His face has met Eddie's fist before and he doesn't really want them to be reintroduced anytime soon. "But you understand why we can't tell her."

Eddie sniffs, shaking his head. "No, I understand why _I_ can't tell her," he clarifies. "What I don't understand is why _you_ can't tell her. It's _your_ secret, Barry. Not Joe's, not mine. And you know better than I do that Iris is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She deserves to know and I know you know that."

Barry hesitates, his mouth opening like he wants to say something but he can't find the words. "Yeah, _I know_ , Eddie," he finally manages tersely, rubbing at his temples out of frustration. Eddie can't imagine how frustrated Barry must be over all of this — two weeks is nothing compared to a whole year, but the fact that it's been that long at all just makes it worse. "It's just — it's complicated."

Eddie looks at Barry like he's grown a third head. "How is it anymore complicated than telling me? Or Felicity? Or literally anyone else you've already told _except_ for Iris?"

Barry flounders again, unsure how he's supposed to defend himself when he knows Eddie is absolutely right. " _I don't know_ , okay?" he starts defensively, which is, admittedly, not a good way to start that particular sentence. "It just is. It's _Iris_." It's a flimsy excuse; both Eddie and Barry know it, and when Eddie gives Barry that incredulous _I'm not buying it_ cop look, Barry caves, setting the file he had in his hands on Eddie's desk, half-sitting against the edge of it. Eddie takes this as his cue to sit in his own chair, staring up at Barry expectantly.

"It's —" Barry tries again, still struggling to find the right words. He scrubs his hands at the back of his neck, glancing at Eddie with a helpless look on his face. "I wanted to tell her, I really did. It's the _first_ thing I wanted to do. It's just — things got crazy with Clyde Mardon and Joe made me promise. I promised him I _wouldn't_. But now ..." He lets his head fall back, stares at the ceiling for a moment before he shakes his head like he's resigned to the fact that he started this mess and now he can't fix it. "I don't know what to do. I never wanted to lie to her, Eddie." He looks back to Eddie, apology written in his eyes. "I never wanted you to have to do that for me, either."

"Barry..." Eddie sighs, defeated almost. As much as he might have wanted to be mad at Barry, he can't be when Barry gives him those sad eyes and that genuine emotion. Still, he needs to be firm about this. He sits up in his chair, leans against his desk to close a little distance between them so he can look Barry directly in the eye. "You need to tell her. I don't care how you do it. I don't care what Joe thinks, either. She needs to know." He almost reaches out to set his hand on Barry's knee, but simply nods instead. "You know it's the right thing to do."

Barry manages a tentative smile, though he's not fully committed to it. "Yeah," he says. His voice sounds distant, like he's running through a million different scenarios in his head. "I know. I just —" He sighs, running his hands over his face. "I really am sorry about dragging you into this. You know I'm not ... doing this on purpose, right?" He doesn't look so sure. "I mean, I'm not that kind of guy. Iris is happy with you and I'm happy for both of you, really."

Eddie gives Barry a small nod of understanding, but he doesn't look so sure himself. "Yeah, I ... don't know if we are happy right now. But if you really care about her happiness, you'll tell her. I know you're not trying to sabotage anything and I can't blame you for not wanting to act against Joe" — he's been on the other end of that death glare before, just this morning, in fact — "but Iris has a right to know, and it's not Joe's decision to tell her. _You're_ the Flash, Barry." The corners of his mouth tug into a lopsided, but somehow reassuring smile. "You're faster than anything Joe could shoot or throw at you, anyway."

Barry doesn't seem convinced, but there's really only so much Eddie can say. Barry will either listen to his advice or he won't. It's all up to him now.

He lets out a short burst of air, not quite a laugh, but close enough considering the topic at hand. "You ever look into the witness protection program? I'm thinking I might need to join you."

Eddie stands and claps a firm hand on Barry's shoulder. "If this all goes south, you know where to find me." He nods to the file Barry set on his desk. "You should probably take care of that first. I'll just ... be heading home." _Alone_ , he doesn't say, but it's pretty clear by the empty expression on his face.

Barry looks vaguely uncomfortable, maybe because he feels bad. Eddie can't really tell. "Sorry, yeah —" He collects his file and pushes off from Eddie's desk, nodding in the direction he'd been headed in earlier. "I'll, uh, I'll see you tomorrow, Eddie." He attempts a smile, and Eddie attempts one back. They both seem forced.

"Don't stay up too late, Allen," Eddie jokes as he passes, patting Barry on the shoulder.

"You too, Detective," Barry calls to Eddie's retreating back with less enthusiasm than usual.

Eddie can't be sure if Barry will take his advice to heart, but he _can_ hope Barry at least follows his, even if that means Eddie loses Iris anyway.


End file.
